Day 2: Drip Drip Drop

Today was day two in my forty day quest for water supremacy. I didn’t feel too supreme. I felt tired and worn out most of the day. I can assume that was because my body was expecting some delicious coffee. It got none. I could easily say I would have demolished two cups of coffee today. Thats two dollars to add to the tally.

I wonder if I am going through withdrawals? I’ll tell you one thing I wont miss from drinking coffee. The dehydration. The pound 5 cups of water sessions. The grinding of the beans. But, oh my I miss the taste. Enough of that, I can’t tempt myself hehe.

This weekend I am going on a silent spiritual retreat. I look forward to it. I kind of like the idea of shutting up. Connection through silence and listening. Probably the first time I will be intentional about being silent for a really long period of time. I hope I can walk away this weekend with a renewed outlook on silent connection. If anything, I just hope to hear from God a little. That would be really cool.

I am sure at the retreat this weekend there will be plenty of opportunity to partake of the non water. Since I will have no internet in the mountains of Inverness where I will be, I will have a nice post on Monday of the adventures of me vs. coffee and how many African people I provided water that is clean for a year. I look forward to that. today, I provided for two people.

I wonder if you had water for a year that was clean, would you make coffee? Would you make tea? What would you do with clean water, that you didn’t have before?

Tally: $3.00

40 wonderful days, a week later than before :)

I just took a sip of water right now. It tastes like nothing, but it can give so much life. Last year I did a forty day water fast, and contributed the money to BloodWaterMission that I would have normally used to buy a coffee, soda or beer. I believe  I was able to raise a couple hundred dollars just from fasting from all those things beverage and non water. $1 dollar a day can provide an African with clean water for a year. I think I have a dollar. It was also a really good discipline, as I felt like I purified my body. Afterward I swore to myself, “I will give up coffee!!!” because I was feeling so good. I sit here my first day of this years 40 day trek into only water, half dead tired from the fact that I haven’t been wired out of my mind of caffeine all day. Wow, first day and I might get to bed before midnight and actually get good rest and wake up early and try to live into what my perfect day is.

 

Coffee, how I hate thee?

No, I love coffee. It gives me unneeded energy and the lathargism after coming down from a manic caffeine surge to go and refill for another cup of nuclear power. Last year I went a good couple months after my 40 days of no coffee, but slowly it creeped back in my life like a good bad habit does. So, I embark again on this voyage of my body saying “Yes, your life truly will be better if you cut some things out of your life!” and me acknowledging, then slowly going back to the life of caffeine. Maybe this year will be different?

Here is my monies breakdown of what I will be using as a legend for what I will contribute each day:

Cup O’ Joe: (where is the cents sign on the keyboard?) $1.00. Thats for a cup of coffee I could brew myself. Thats one year of clean water.

Cup O’ Iwannapayabarristatomakemycoffee craving and deflection: $2.00 which is an average of either a regular coffee or a mocha.

Soda: .75 cents. Usually I would get a can or a value meal with the drink costing about that.

Beer: $4.00 Usually that is a good average of either rejecting a friends hearty Coors (gag reflexed) or a nice Jeremiah Red at BJ’s.

Anything else I will make up as I go along. Like tea, which is flavored hot water. Maybe .25 cents? Or a hot cocoa, maybe .35 cents?

So, how did today go? Wait one second, Bjork is yelling at me….ok never mind the orchestra kicked in. Today went well, I will plop in $1.00  as I wanted a cup today, bad. But, I did not succumb! I usually at 2 pm pound about 4 hearty glasses of water to combat my severe dehydration from a Cup O’ Joe. Today was just even keeled in the water consumption. No spikes of 4 cup pound sessions. I was able to focus a little easier, maybe today was just a good day for me, maybe it had nothing to do with the coffee sending me on a haphazard move a million miles an hour in my thought processes kinda day. I also got a lot done. I have been on a quest to learn HTML and CSS and have made headway. Working on getting my own site up, that is sort of a portfolio site. I made a lot of progress on that. Also, I am in online classes for college, and got a lot done and was able to focus without any cups of brown glory. Today was a good day. (Ice Cube reference)

Water fact: 884 million people lack access to safe water supplies; approximately one in eight people.

TALLY: $1.00 = One Person in Africa with water for a year. All because I chose to live a little healthier and be disciplined.

It is time to go to bed. Long day of HTM

It is time to go to bed. Long day of HTML and CSS learning. Almost wanted to throw my computer through the window, but didn’t #design

My Graphic Design Resources Roundup #graphicdesign

This is my modest list of resources I use all the time for Graphic Design! Who knows, even if you don’t actually do graphic design, you might benefit

http://modularscale.com/ : The absolute most awesome source for breaking things down in the Golden Mean way. Harmonic proportions. Yes please!

http://wordmark.it/# : Want to see a word or phrase lined up on one page in all the fonts you have installed on your system? Well, this is just the place!

google images: goes without saying.

http://www.colourlovers.com/: Make your own custom color palettes and pattern designs. Browse a community full of color palettes. Get feedback.

http://new.myfonts.com/WhatTheFont/: Never be in the dark of a typeface used in a design.

http://www.toonmonkey.com/extensions.html: Some super important Flash extensions that are free!

http://www.banksy.co.uk/asseenontv.html: Need some artistic inspiration?

http://designbump.com/

http://thewebblend.com/

http://www.designrelated.com/

http://www.graphic-design-links.com/: The above four links are bookmarking sites specifically for design.

Font Resources:

http://www.dafont.com/

http://www.1001freefonts.com/

http://www.abstractfonts.com/

http://www.creamundo.com/

http://www.fontcubes.com/

http://www.fontstock.net/

http://betterfonts.com/

http://www.highfonts.com/default.aspx

http://www.freepremiumfonts.com/

http://www.fontsquirrel.com/

http://www.fontpost.com/

http://www.fontspace.com/

http://www.urbanfonts.com/

http://www.webdesigndev.com/web-development/12-big-bold-and-free-typefaces-to-use-for-website-headings

http://www.webdesigndev.com/roundups/22-free-calligraphic-fonts

http://fontfeed.com/archives/helvetica-and-alternatives-to-helvetica/

http://ilovetypography.com/

http://www.webdesigndev.com/web-development/16-gorgeous-web-safe-fonts-to-use-with-css

http://www.fontshop.com/products/fontbook/

http://ilovetypography.com/2007/10/22/so-you-want-to-create-a-font-part-1/

http://www.fonts2u.com/harabara-bold.font

http://www.addictivefonts.com/script/handwritten/free-handwritten-fonts/

http://webfonts.fonts.com/en-US/Project/ChooseFonts?Languages=W44%20%20%20%20%20%20%20

http://typekit.com/holiday2010

http://www.webdesigndev.com/photoshop/30-free-fonts-you-must-have

http://www.webdesigndev.com/photoshop/22-free-fonts-to-achieve-that-hand-drawn-effect

http://www.macworld.com/article/156825/2011/01/sanfordfont.html?lsrc=rss_main

http://kuler.adobe.com/#themes/rating?time=30 : Great color schemer.

Web Designer resources:

http://www.instantshift.com/

http://www.webdesigndev.com/web-development/web-designer-must-have-resources

http://www.lovevectorfree.com/category/icons/

http://www.elance.com/p/landing/provider.html

http://colorschemedesigner.com/

http://www.webdesigndev.com/roundups/10-forums-web-designers-must-know-about

http://icondock.com/

http://www.webdesigndev.com/web-development/5-ways-to-scare-your-web-dev-clients-away

http://www.webdesigndev.com/roundups/100-fantastic-resources-for-web-designers

Phew. This should be a nice start to chew on.

A journey into design and life

You can sort of gravitate towards something without fully knowing sometimes why you are doing it. When I was younger, I always would love little aspects of posters or commercials on T.V.  I would gravitate towards how the shapes and graphics would dance with each other. How the text would sit, say and scream an emotion. I would also shortly after tell myself, even as a child: “You could never do anything like that.” “you aren’t good enough…”. Whats weird is that no one ever told me that. I really wish I could say that I was scarred as a child with a confrontation or continual pounding into my head of “you aren’t good enough”. It was always me who would do that to myself. Imagine, as a child, telling yourself you could never do a thing. Imagine how more scarring it is to believe a lie you made up to yourself, originated from who knows where, and maintained for years, by…well, yourself. I realized the last couple weeks, well I am my own culprit. I will tell you a little story:

My relationship with my Dad has always been a mystery to me. My Dad’s relationship to me was distant, repelling and didn’t make sense. But, it was all I knew. What I didn’t know is why it was that way. I just thought that a relationship with someone was supposed to be this way. It isn’t till recently, like in the last year, that I learned a relationship can have depth, closeness and validity in openness and vulnerability. The reason it was the way it was because my pops struggles with things like we all do. He was a human being. That was shattering for me, I thought he wasn’t. I thought he was a super hero like everyone else’s dad was? Right? He was supposed to be perfect, like I deserved, like we all do? A perfect parent to raise you. It wasn’t and never will be that way. There was too much expectation on him, that was unfair of me. What I learned of him angered me. Drugs and alcohol. A nice double-edged sword of health that plagues a lot of my family. I just thought he was better than that. Damnit. Why? Why couldn’t he choose me, our family, over a vice?

I am now coming out of the angry faze. I sure was blaming my dad for a lot. I have no identity because of him. I am a social misfit because of him. I hate myself because of him. I am not as good as I should be because of him. I am not who I am wanting to be because of him. It’s all him. It has to be. I even said “Fuck that guy.” ‘That guy’. What a deconstruction. I was driving to school with the radio off and in silence a few weeks ago just asking God for something. The ‘feeling pain’ mode was getting annoying and I didn’t like feeling all this emotion. I got a simple response:

“You need to stop blaming your Dad. He needs your love, not blame.”

“Stop using him as a scape goat…”

That was not me planting my own selfish thoughts in my head. God could have only been the one to tell me that. I am in the middle of figuring that out. Seeking counseling and just peace of mind to not be angry. This also strips me down. I am finding out who I am, why I am, and if I can be comfortable with I AM. And nothing more.

2010 was a learning year. 2011 may just be a year to live from learning.

The half hour interval

For the last few days i have been trying a work/life hack called ‘the half hour work interval’. Admittedly I made that name up. The concept is this: Work for a solid half hour then play for half an hour. Simple enough right? Well, actually it really is. What I have been doing is to instead of play I do another phase of another project. Sad thing is, I haven’t been able to slide music into the work schedule. Yet. I intend to. I am noticing immense output now. From practicing piano to getting graphics stuff done to watching tutorials, to even comprehending and retaining information. I almost feel it is too good to be true. So what if it is, right now it’s truly working and I love it. I guess it is working for me because I am a very ‘need-a-due-date-or-goal’ type person. If I don’t have either I WILL procrastinate. I will fail. It is not me being down on myself, it is just being real. I can performance if I have some framework and a due date. Done.

On the marketing front I am working on a logo, also trying twitter marketing/slash being a person of tweetery specialness. Fail. I tried a program called MarketMeSuite(Tweet). It is a paid service of $5.99 a month and has a lot of killer services. Like reply campaigns and RSS tweeting. I got about 20 followers in 5 days of using it. I decided it was not right for me. The buggyness, half the features not working and the customer service basically never acknowledging what was wrong or be able to give me a resemblance of a solution. I cancelled the service. I realize since I have nothing to really show for, I would just tweet for free. I am now using Tweetdeck and am very happy. Tweeting for free is the only way to fly for now.

Today after class I had a really good conversation with our substitute teacher filling in while our main teacher is on vacation. She was telling me about Flash and its real upsides. She is a Flash professional and was really inspiring me to try and only use Flash to express myself for this next three week major project. She told me that I am good at the still picture, but can I immerse someone with motion. Can I make someone feel in another world with Flash, can I be good at motion too. I am not going to lie, she is an absolute savage when it comes to getting work and being at the top of her game, she will tell you to your face that you suck and show you why. So, for her to tell me that I am good, well I don’t know how to take that and or believe it. At the same time, she is wanting to push me to that next level of not only design but the ability to make someone feel, maybe even immerse them in a world I create. She said “No pressure…”. Well, there is always pressure to get to that next level. I almost felt like saying to not be afraid of pushing me, but then I was afraid the veil of my design work being good would be lifted from her and she would rail me. So, I decided to leave on top. All kidding aside, it was very valuable information and she is a great teacher. I think it is just tough with her, because whenever she comes in to sub, it is in the start of a major project and she always stops the class to teach new methods. I’t is more circumstantial annoyance than actual annoyance. Her knowledge and techniques are amazing. So, besides teaching and pushing that next level of design, there is the next level and pushing of learning to learn, in hostile and comfortable environments.

Ahhh, life is fucking grand.

 

Day 2: Thinking for myself.

In day two of the album adventure. I am happy, not because I have any pieces done or even close to done, but because of my attitude and approach.  I am happy with the scratch tracks I have got going on and am happy that I am telling myself, while this is ambient and ‘noise’ that maybe there is more. Write good pieces. But, still express myself. That is when I know I am satisfied enough to rock a piece. So far, close but no cigar.

I am also working on the album cover and what I feel represents the mentality and mental space I am in or what this represents. That is hard to portray in a digital realm. It is ever changing, but the core is remaining the same, which is good. So, I feel good knowing that with the core still intact I am on the right path.  It is a black space with a nebulaes middle, possibly me as a kid looking at it, only to realize I am still looking into the nebula. Still on the platform of lies/understanding of love. I am needing it to be eerie and ominous, while being minimal. Like I said, core still intact.

I am tackling a interval/ratio work regiment. Thirty minutes working and then thirty minutes fun. Or, more time working than same time playing. So far, I seem to be more focused during the work time knowing that I only have a set amount of time. I need to make use of this time. I am not super consistent yet with upholding said times of work and fun, but I am somewhat there. I am interested to see how this will benefit me and if it works. {open ended blog ending}

Day One: Skeleton and a box

This marks day one in the life of this ambient/noise/who knows what this sound will be album. Today, besides thinkign about what I want to do all day, I sat down and let it pour out. Have you ever, with anything sat down and done a thing and let you emotion pour out through it? Well, Today was little part of that. I worked in Cmaj. for this one. I am at least assigning myself a key to work in. My signal chain was from keyboard->mixer->inthebox(amps and eq’s and delay, oh my). I am not happy with the sound quality but at the same time am. For some reason there is some weird hiss, so I might have to redo the recording to bypass the mixer. But, on the flip side, I like the drone-iness of the recording. I thought the performance was good, but honestly, I think I can do better. So, if anything today was getting my sea legs back and I have an outline for a really emotional song. I looked at today as pre-production. I am glad that was accomplished.

All day been working on a logo for myself, as I look to slowly move into developing myself as a person with a design identity. I also found out about the bone tool today as well in Flash. Wow! My next new thing to mess with!! Stick figure dancing? Yummy!

Irons in the Fire:

• I do have another ambientish piece in my phone, using both Amplitube for the iPhone and Filtatron. I can look to making that a piece of viable musicness.
• After I get done with a logo, I will finish a business card and start designing a site. WordPress? Host? Scratch? Flash?
• Working on album cover
• Always the quest for a good T-shirt design
• Always the quest to express

Gonna faint from tiredness.

I am just gonna do it

Yep, album time has commenced. An ambient album. Yes, all the wonder if this is music or not, if it is even listenable. I don’t care. To me it is powerful. To me in the right context it is beautiful. To take a page out of Brian Eno’s book: “I try to create something that has not been heard before..”. To me, with all the turmoil of my personal non artistic life, I cannot and don’t have the capacity to not let go. Composition in the traditional form is just downright too much to handle. But, the free and super emotional is just downright bliss. Besides, traditional composition is for Neandrathals, not the geico kind either.

1. Lynda.com tutorials
2. Various typography sites
3. Marketmetweet
4. Class

Above is some resources I am diving into. It feels overwhelming but dang I am learning so much. I am also learning there is design and the politics of design. What I mean by that is that in certain niches there is parameters that need to be followed to be accepted by the masses. It is tough pill to swallow but liberating too. So, as I keep throwing myself out there, I am learning a ton. Thus, improving my design skills.

Album cover in the works. A couple skeletons pieces recorded. That’s all for now.

A ripple in time.

This last month has been, shall we say “Very interesting!”. I have been immersing myself in learning graphic design, how to get into rhythms of learning and rhythms of working. I have been trying to learn how to compartmentalize artistic strains and streams. The bouts of inspiration come and go, but I have realized and submit to learning and immersing. I find some tensions lately of just quitting the idea of working on music all together for awhile. Just playing keys, and using all my energy towards graphic design. The flip side is I feel it would be good to attain disciplines in both. So, I sit in prayer:

“What do I need?”
“What do you need of me?”

In my personal family life, there has been a fracture to the mainframe, yet it was always that way, but now it is apparent. So, I along with my siblings are working through that. So, in the creative field, inspiration and the ability to feel like doing a project is , well rocked. Also, coupled with just being in constant learning and visual consumption, This is the stage of life:

“In this stage of my life, I call it: LEARNING”

One thing that I am starting to really dive into is lynda.com and getting through courses and showing Certificates of Completion. It is not a degree, but it will show that I have completed levels of mastery in software and developement. I feel that will help with job prospects and my own personal growth. A couple so far:

 

Timothy Preut

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is in Facebook and iPhoto integration

Timothy Preut

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is Flash Professional CS5 New Features overview

So, it will be nice to get some formal education in so many different fields. I am excited to go to school, come home and do more ‘schooling’ and then throw in some piano/rhodes practice. I am learning One Republic’s ‘Apologize’. I am finding that maybe for me, learning classical stuff isn’t going to keep my juices flowing to want to put in work to get good at piano. Maybe, learning pop will. So far, it surprisingly has. there is something really educational about learning to play minimally with sheer effectiveness. But, in that minimalism there is a complexity and discipline, when to explode and when to simply give the melody. I am excited about this path and direction. Maybe, I should stop caring about being amazing and be satisfied with being good and effective. Thats seems more disciplined to me. Weird.

Where will my creative mind be tomorrow. I ask myself.